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About CPAF24-hour multilingual & confidential hotlineEmergency & Transitional SheltersParaprofessional Counseling & Case ManagementSexual Assault Response Team (SART)Community Education ProgramsVolunteer & Intern Programsand more! Center for the Pacific Asian Family (CPAF) is a nonprofitorganization based in Los Angeles that serves survivorsof domestic violence (DV) and/or sexual assault (SA), withculturally and linguistically adaptive services forAsian/Pacific Islander individuals. CPAF also advocatesagainst violence in communities throughout LA Countythrough prevention programs, youth leadership projects,workshops, trainings, partnerships, and more. Our programs include:nurturingchange.org 1-800-339-3940 24/7 crisis hotline

Letter of IntroductionHistory of CPAFDV/SA DefinitionsAffirmation Mood Board | by Taylor Moises"Womanhood, Per My Mom" | by Sarah TranPower & Control WheelHealthy RelationshipsWhat is Trauma?Stop Asian Hate Poster | by Cassia Savage"Seen" | by Emily ChenSelf Care Guide | by Angelica Reyes"Reflecting at Dog Beach" | by SamanthaSelf-Care TemplateBreakfast Club Collage | by Sarah TranRooted Leadership Project PortfoliosAJ & RayAngelaCindyChristina & CamilleKaileKaylaKaylee"Safety Valve" | by Alex RemsenCommunity ResourcesAcknowledgements Table of Contentspage1-23-4567-89-101112131415-161718192021-2223-2425-2627-2829-3031-3233-3435-3637-3839

What I’ve learned through my work with CPAF is thatviolence comes in many forms and has many roots, butthe best way we can deconstruct violent paradigms is tobuild healthy, safe communities and encourage apositive relationship with oneself. I wanted to launch CPAF’s first ever zine as one of myfinal projects with CPAF. I first encountered zinemakingwhile I was in college, as a way to express and share mythoughts. Zines (short for “magazines”) are grassrootsendeavors, bypassing traditional modes of publishing todistribute material directly to the audiences that wouldresonate with the content the most. A zine is a uniqueway for community members to learn about CPAF andfor CPAF to explore more creative methods to tell stories,connect with others, and grow as a communityparticipant. Letter of IntroductionMy name is Sarah Tran and I’vebeen the AmeriCorps VISTA –Community Relations Specialistat CPAF for the past year! I’vebeen helping build, maintain,and grow CPAF’s relationships tocollege and university partnersby talking with students acrosssouthern California, facilitatingworkshops, and attendingpanels. 1

I chose the theme for this spring’s zine to be “WhereWe’ve Been, Where We Are, and Where We’reGoing” because I think all three are intertwined.Reflections on our past experiences and past selves cangive us much clarity on the kind of braver, kinder, andmore just future we want to build. This past year– with apandemic, an election cycle, sociopolitical tensions, race-based violence, and more– has been difficult at best anddevastating at worst. In many ways, we are constantlyconfronting the past, the present, and the future on apersonal level, social level, and political level. There arerarely easy answers. However, I hope that buildingcommunity trust with one another, honoring thekaleidoscope of experiences we all have, and choosing tocreate alongside our grief is one of the first steps towardtransformation. Not only do I hope to educate others about domesticviolence and sexual assault through this zine, but alsoprovide tools, models, and visions for healthyrelationships, self care, and hope. At the end of the day,my pride in myself and who I am is stronger than anypast, present, or future violence I may encounter. I hope,through this zine and other healing spaces, that we canlearn to define time not through our pain, but throughour resilience. Sincerely,June 20212

In the late 1970s, Nilda Rimonte, a Filipina activist, saw theneed for linguistically and culturally responsive services forAsian/Pacific Islander (API) women. She established thefirst 24-hour rape hotline in 1978 and the first domesticviolence shelter in 1981 for monolingual API women. History of CPAF3

Over time, CPAF has continued and expandedour programs to include direct services, multipleshelter sites, prevention programs, and aCommunity Center in Koreatown where we leadcommunity education programs.1981: Emergency Shelter1998: Transitional Shelter2010: Community Center2017: Transitional Shelter 21978: Hotline established*An Emergency Shelter is where someone first goeswhen they are escaping a dangerous DV/SAsituation and need short term housing.*A Transitional Shelter is where someone goes ifthey still need help with housing after their stay inan Emergency Shelter. They will receive help withtransitioning to their own long term living situation.4

DefinitionsInappropriate touching Fondling/molestation Exhibitionism Obscene comments Harassment & Stalking (including virtual) Voyeurism Rape Intimate partner/dating violence: a pattern ofcoercion by an intimate partner to gain power & controlover the other person; use of force to gain and maintaincontrol in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence isintimate partner violence when the people in an intimatepartnership live together within a household. Sexual assault: any unwanted sexual conduct orbehavior. If it's not consensual, it is considered assault. Itincludes: Definitions can be useful for people to understand whathappened to them and/or learn more. However, noteveryone wants to label their experiences and peoplefrom different cultures may not want to directly talk aboutor define what happened to them. What is important ishow you felt about that experience. If you feel upset,angry, sad, confused, or another emotion that is hard foryou to process, then you deserve to speak about whathappened and seek healing for yourself. 5

This is an affirmation and activism mood board I created as a desktopwallpaper. I pull a lot of my inspiration from Chanel Miller, with an imageof the cover of her book "Know My Name" and her art piece that is ondisplay, "I am, I was, I will be." I also pulled a quote from Cathy Park Hong'sbook "Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning." These images andquote remind me of my past, present, and future self. Most importantly Iam affirmed that I was, I am, and I will be worthy, good, and still evolving. -Taylor Moises Taylor was the Campus Outreach Intern at CPAF in spring 2021. Shegraduated from the University of Southern California (USC) in May 2021and is from Northern California. She is passionate about racial andgender justice and hopes to help CPAF in its mission to build healthy andsafe communities. Chanel Miller's artwork "I was, I am, I will be" is currently featured at the AsianArt Museum in San Francisco.6

womanhood, per my momby sarah tran I am 21 and my mother told me that I should stop going out when it is dark. “you don’t know what will happen” – her eyes turn down to the floor – “when you walk back to your car in the nighttime.” I wonder what it’s like to see the moon as a dagger and tigers lurking behind every unlit street corner. “being a woman” – my mom says, plucking out every hair from her body – “means being in pain” and I realize I do not have a single childhood memory in which my mother was not trembling at the corners of the universe. I guess that happens when you trade your childhood country for a foreign, bleak adult one with strangers who don’t look you in the eye; I guess that’s what happens when your tongue is too slow sometimes for people to fully understand you; I guess that’s just what happens when you can never forget what it feels like to run from the violence of a war. but I was not born from war. I was born in the peace of a January many decades later- in fact, I was born in the nighttime. how can my mother be so afraid of mysterious and unpredictablethings and then give birth to someone who gets drunk and dizzy on danger, someone who eats up risk like candy and spits out the old and the familiar; someone who feels too big sometimes to stay contained in such a tight yellow skin. 7

my mother says Vietnamese women are quiet and politeand stay to themselves but I know that can’t be true- I feel the most Vietnamese when I have attempted the impossible,when I am still getting up after I have been punched to the ground,when I have proven to myself that maybe I do share genes with a father who survived a whole ocean on a boat and a mother who re-stitched her life afterher childhood was ripped from her. maybe being a Vietnamese woman is pain but maybe pain has become nothing to fear at all. yes, I know I am small and strangers still think they can colonize my foreign face, resell my own culture to me, but I am a nighttime danger girl born with the whole universe ripe in my mouth and maybe the best thing you gained when you entered a new country was raising a body of freedom and hope, a firstborn daughter who does exactly what she is scared of, a second generation dream of others listening to me. I know you grew up a refugee, mom, but you don’t have to hide anymore- being a woman may be pain, but being a woman is also knowing that maybe I already own everything I need to survive it, being a woman is centuries of ancestors urging me to finish what they could not do before, being a woman is standing alone under the smile of the moon,listening to those crickets chirp, and feeling like I could give birth to my own self if I tried hard enough. xx Author’s note: I am no longer 21 and currently have more complex ideasabout my gender than I had when I wrote this poem. However, I decided tokeep this poem unchanged to reflect the true, honest, and clear feelingsthat defined a significant period of my life and that might provide solace orcomfort to others.8

We all hold different positions of societal privilege and power,according to our race, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomicclass, citizenship status, and more. It’s not inherently a bad thingfor a person to be privileged in some way- in many cases, theycan’t help it, and unfortunately society as it is now is structuredso that there is an uneven playing field depending on your socialidentities. In addition, some people may be privileged in someways (ex. being middle class and a man) but not in other ways (ex.also being queer). What is not okay is when a person uses their position of privilegeand power to coerce, control, or harm other people. Below is awheel that summarizes different forms of violence that resultwhen one person tries to assert power and control over anotherperson. The outer ring demonstrates how these forms ofviolence are reinforced by societal gender and sexual norms.Power & ControlDrawn by Sarah Tran, based on wheel as developed by Roe andJagodinsky + the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (Duluth, MN)9

This wheel demonstrates how violence doesn’t just happenbetween two people, but is rooted in larger systems ofINSTITUTIONS and CULTURE. These larger outer rings canexplain roots of violence, as well as the barriers someone mightface if they try to get help. For example, if the dominant culturevalues men over women (patriarchy), then it would affectinstitutions such as the court so that they don’t believe when awoman is a victim of domestic violence, which enables domesticviolence to continue between two people if the woman’shusband knows that he can abuse her without repercussion. How can we continue to change both cultureand institutions so that marginalized peoplein our communities are protected and safe? Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (Duluth, MN)10

Regular, transparent, and open communication Listening and providing/receiving support Awareness of and respect for boundaries Trust and connectedness fostered by shared expectations Relationships aren’t just healthy or unhealthy. Usually, they fallsomewhere along this spectrum. CPAF staff were asked, “What is one element you expect out of a healthyrelationship?” They mentioned: What else can you add?HealthyRelationshipsHealthyrelationshipsare based onequality &respect. Unhealthyrelationshipsare based onattempts to exertcontrol &patterns ofdisrespect.Abusiverelationshipsare based on animbalance ofpower & control.11

Trauma is a situation, experience, or circumstance that negativelyimpacts an individual as harmful and/or life-threatening. Traumadisrupts a person’s mental, physical, emotional, and spiritualfunctions. It is a psychological and neurological injury which results from anexperience that overwhelms one’s usual processes for coping withstress. A person with trauma may have adapted trauma responses,thinking patterns, choices, and behaviors that are meant to help themsurvive, as they move forward from the traumatic incident. However,some trauma responses may not serve a person anymore or harmtheir quality of life. Healing from trauma means adapting to newmethods of coping that make a person feel resilient,comforted, and supported. Trauma can happen after a person experiences a difficultcircumstance, but it can also occur if a person is hearing about,listening to, or observing another person’s traumatic circumstances.This is called vicarious or secondary trauma (Saakvine & Pearlman,1996). Listening to and supporting others can be emotionallydepleting, which is why self-compassion and self-care is so critical ifyou support or advocate for others who may be suffering. No matter how it happens, trauma is not anyone’s fault or areflection on anyone’s character or strength. Healing fromtrauma is not always linear and there is no finish point that peoplehave to reach. Moving forward from trauma looks different foreveryone, and it can include personal resources (self care plans andactivities), interpersonal resources (friends, family, mentors), andcommunity resources (therapy, service agencies, support groups). Adapted from American Psychological Association, The Body Keeps the Scoreby Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., and CPAF Advocate Training material. What is Trauma?12

My mom and I were brainstorming for a poster for a Stop Asian Hatemarch in San Francisco this weekend. Our ideas included stopping Asianhate, of course, but also our alliance with Black Lives Matter (andrecognizing the struggle and work Black communities have put forth thathave made the progress our country has thus far). This Hamer quotesummed up how we felt, and we based the image on popular Asian Perilfor Black Power art, which was my part in the project.-Cassia Savage Cassia is a sixth-grader (12 years old) who is a nerd, artist, musician,chess player, reader, and writer.13

Seen| by Emily Chen I didn’t realize how used to not being seen I was until the sudden attention by all eyes on those that look like me I myself glanced away from the parade of violent headlines these months after speaking out when the drumbeats began before lockdown I’d rather celebrate the recenthard-earned breaks in the bamboo ceilings from Hollywood to Washington, D.C. Than be viewed as a victim on front-page national news Nevermind their capture of the micro-offenses I’ve brushed aside these decades to live my life The privilege of a law degree does not shield me from the legacy of our history Not in the workplace nor walking on the street But it does enhance my artistry in wielding the sword of change in a country that aspires for all to be freeEmily Chen is a writer, poet, and advocate consciously creating the life andsociety she wishes to see, where all are seen and heard, and where all can see,and speak for, themselves.14

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"Reflecting at Dog Beach," 2021 When I attended advocate training as a new intern at CPAF, Iremember being invited to share the self-care we would commit tothat weekend. I said I would go dog watching at Huntington Beach.That has become a consistent practice throughout my year at CPAF. Idon't have any pets of my own, but with the heaviness that comes withthe work, the despair of racial injustices and the languishing from thepandemic, I find light and windows of joy at Dog Beach.-SamanthaSamantha works at CPAF primarily supporting communications anddonor relations. Originally from Maryland, she lived in Utah, thePhilippines, Paraguay, and Hawai'i before she landed in California.When she finds a place to call home, she hopes to be close to theocean and have a dog (or two).17

Self-Care TemplateFill in this template to develop your personal plan and resources forself-care. You can return to this page over time whenever you needextra support! 18

This is a collage I made out of magazine cut-outs during CPAFBreakfast Club. Breakfast Club is a space where CPAF staffers playgames, build connections with one another, and explore ourcreativity. My collage is centered around the theme "What's Next?" -a question that haunts my daily pandemic life. My pastenvironments, current hobbies, and future dreams are allrepresented. -Sarah Tran 19

Rooted Leadership ProjectYouth advocates between the ages of 13-18 learn more aboutroot causes of violence in their communities through CPAF’sRooted Leadership Project, in which they conduct communityassessments and develop proposals to identify strategies forending violence in their communities. Each of the portfoliosthat they put together highlights a guiding research question,key stakeholders, community engagement efforts, and specificrecommendations for how youth and adult allies can join thecall to help end violence. The full project portfolios can be viewed on CPAF's website, butflip through the following pages to see highlights from thelatest cohort of Rooted Leadership youth leaders! 20

AJ and Ray wanted to understand how they could help endviolence by challenging harmful stereotypes that are oftenplaced on youth by adults in their community. Figure 1. A majority of survey respondents [all high school students]believe that ageism towards teens is a problem at our high school. Therespondents shared their answers on a likert scale of 1-5, with a scale of 1= ‘not at all’ and 5 = ‘Definitely a problem.’by AJTo adults: "Stop anticipating thatwe're going to do wrong and thatwe don't understand anythingand we're hopeless, help us out."~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~21

~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~Actively trying to understand what is comforting orfamiliar to students. They should try to integrate or offerthese things in the school or classroom setting whereappropriate to demonstrate their responsiveness andrespect for the needs and interests of teens.Explain to teens why you say no, so we can understandyour reasoning and potentially use this logic to make betterdecisions across other areas of our lives.Communicating their thoughts and feelings to paint apicture for adults about what they are going through. Thiscan be done through a separate space that our schoolcreates for teachers to interact with students as equalsrather than superiors.Taking accountability for our actions, especially if wemake a mistake. This shows that we are not careless andunderstand the impact of our actions on other teens andadults. To achieve this, we need to have strongercommunication skills by building our confidence to talkabout our feelings.1.2.1.2.& Ray22

Angela’s research started with this question and it led her toquickly realize that the systems set in place to support childwelfare in LA County are very vast and complex. Angela hasfound an interest in promoting child welfare through educationand local activism efforts that focus on permanent housing forfamilies and their children.ConstituentsChildren in the San GabrielValley who do not have access topermanent housing. ~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~AlliesElizabeth House (a nonprofitproviding shelter for women &their children), CPAF, and DCFS(Department of Child FamilyServices)Decision MakersCity Council (to fund moreaffordable housing for childrenand families), School Principal (toapprove student-led workshopsto educate teens abt this issue)23

~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~Hold workshops at school around the topic of childwelfare. Based on the connections I’ve made and what Ihave been continuing to learn about, I would break downthis large topic into the following smaller topic areas: (a)social services, (b) the foster system, (c) and permanenthousing.Create an online resource that will allow people to learnabout child welfare more easily so that they canunderstand some of the core issues and get involved.[...] It is vital to simplify the process of gaining access tohousing. Shelter coordinators and directors areadvocating to loosen up housing requirements. With thepandemic, even fewer families fit the requirements andthere are rarely any affordable low-income housing units.Initial action steps to address the issue: increasingpeople’s knowledge about child welfare, communityorganizing around issues and solutions related to childwelfare, and leading impacted youth to organizationslike DCFS and partner agencies.1.2.1.2.by Angela24

Cindy has often heard her fellow students and youthorganizers say things like, “We can't do anything,” or, “Nothingwe do matters." Using the knowledge and skills she’s developedthrough the Rooted Leadership Project, Cindy launched 5 focusgroups and a survey that reached 92 local high school-agedyouth to learn about how her community can inspire futureactivists.Figure 1. This pie chart showsthat a large majority of theyouth I surveyed from my highschool were interested inactivism. Figure 2. This pie chart showsthat, despite people’s interestin activism, only 16.3% ofyouth actually participate inactivism while 83.7% do not.~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~25

Reach out to your teachers and your friends in order to getinvolved in activism. Ask them, "Do you know of anyopportunities to get involved in my community?" When we talk to people about activism, it can be more helpfuland relatable to refer to 'activism' as 'opportunities toimprove your community.' The label of ‘activism’ can beintimidating and people’s perceptions of this word are oftencolored by current events.One of the easiest ways to step into your power as a youthactivist is to volunteer with local organizations/clubs.1.2.3.~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~by CindyFigure 3. This bar graph shows that an overwhelming majority of youthsurveyed learn about activism through social media or word of mouthwith their social circles. Not surprisingly, the majority of surveyrespondents shared that they get their information on Instagram.26

Christina and Camille teamed up to help understand whythere has been so much silence around this topic in theircommunity of dance teams even when the need to addressrelationship violence has been evident to them.~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~Christina and Camille attended a community forum called BraveSpace where they joined 15 other members of the SouthernCalifornia dance community to address the ongoing incidents ofrelationship violence. They followed up after the forum andconducted 5 one-on-one interviews with friends on their danceteams in the South Bay and San Gabriel Valley regions to betterunderstand: (a) what they think relationship violence lookslike, (b) why there has been a lack of conversation on thetopic, and (c) what kind of resources they need to feelcomfortable discussing and addressing relationship violence. 27

~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~by Christina & CamilleProvide support and education around relationshipviolence to teens in the dance community in order toreduce the likelihood of violence in the futureA simple action that youth dancers can take to address theissue is to start asking questions. [...] Asking questionsstems from curiosity and genuine interest to learn more onthe subject.To address the issue, adults can work toward creating asafer environment for the youth.Develop a workshop series or conference thatempowers dancers to understand relationship violenceand how they can help end it.1.2.3.4.28

Kaile used this question to guide her towards her idea ofdeveloping a club at her high school that will provide a spacefor students to have discussions to better understand whathealthy relationships look like.Figure 1. I was relieved to discover that students at my high schoolwere eager to learn about relationships. Though some topics didn’tpique their interests, I’m thankful for the input, which shows thatthere are going to be a lot of great topics to explore under theumbrella of healthy relationships.~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~29

~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~1. Provide the opportunity for every student at my highschool to receive education about healthy relationships.I want to make this happen by creating a club to have ongoingdialogue about all the different topics within healthyrelationships, as well as to address current events in the schoolor community.2. Provide a space for people to think about what ahealthy relationship with themselves looks like, inaddition to having healthy relationships with others.4. Adults need to be more open about discussing healthyrelationships- rather than having it be a taboo oruncomfortable topic to talk about at school. by Kaile"We wrote down values and traits that defineus during a workshop that really stuck with mefrom the first Know Your Roots program that Iattended. I realized that there was so muchmore to me than my social identities. Ithought deeper about my personal traits andgot to know myself better. This showed methat your relationship with yourself is justas important if not more important thanyour relationship with others."30

Kayla formed this question after observing incidents of sexualharassment at her school that have led to a culture ofminimizing students’ experiences with this form ofviolence. Kayla decided to open conversations with peers ather school and developed a survey to identify ways thatstudents and schools can help prevent sexualharassment. A lot of conversations centered around thetension that adults held with addressing sexual harassment ata Catholic school.~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~Figure 1. This pie chart shows that 70% of the high school students Isurveyed have experienced some form of peer pressure. The restof the students had either never experienced this type of peer pressure(20%) or weren’t sure if they had ever been in this situation (10%). 31

"I think we need to stop treating people whosexually assault and hurt others like they didn’tknow what they were doing and made a mistake.At [our high school], it’s become apparent withpast incidents of this scenario that the personresponsible is not held accountable for theiractions and almost let off the hook without asingle mark on their records. I think that this needs to change.”~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~It is important for the school to implement an effective teachingstrategy for the student body to understand sexual harassment andways to avoid and overcome any possible situation.[...] Adults shouldn’t feel scared or awkward when talking to teens aboutstaying safe in friendships, relationships and in life. It is important forteens to have a trusted adult to talk to, so adults need to take thatfirst step and show they can be that trusted adult.It is important to reflect on our comfort zones. Be sure to establishboundaries for yourself to ensure confidence when speaking openlyabout them with someone else. [...]If you are really passionate about making a change in your communitybut you don’t think there’s anything you can do about it, you are verywrong. No problem is too big to handle and there is no reason youshould be expected to do it alone either. There are a lot of people outin the world who are ready to make a change with you so don’thesitate for another minute!1.2.1.2.by Kayla32

Kaylee started with this question that ultimately led her to thinkabout how she can create spaces for cultural exchangeamongst the diverse student body at her school!~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~Constituents: 13-18 years oldstudents at Kaylee’s school Kaylee originally aimed to reach Filipino students in particular but sheended up deciding to include people from all cultures so that she couldhelp facilitate cultural exchange through a workshop called HappyHeritage Home! Kaylee made this decision after sharing a survey with herfriends in which many of them expressed an interest in learning moreabout her culture as well as other people’s cultural backgrounds.Allies: Language TeachersKaylee sees language teachers as allies because they understand theimportance of representing and sharing cultures. The languageteachers at Kaylee’s school had similar values to Kaylee when it came tocreating more representation for different cultures, and so they gladlyhelped her share her survey with the student body.Decision Maker: SchoolAdministrationKaylee would like to propose some changes to campus, which includeputting up the Filipino flag in the gymnasium and hosting eventsthat promote cultural exchange amongst students. She is going tohave to figure out which school administrators would have to provide herwith approval to bring these changes to life at her high school.33

~CPAF ROOTED LEADERSHIP PROJECT~Our voices and opinions matter and are always welcome. I wantother teens to know that being vulnerable is okay, and it'sokay to show how you really feel. This is how we make change!I want to host more Happy Heritage Home workshops tofacilitate cultural exchange at my school and in my community!As part of Happy Heritage Home, I’d like to propose a potluckstyle event when it is safe to do so in-person where people canbring and share food to talk about their different cultures. Maybewe can even do a virtual version of this somehow?I have found that youth have a limited amount of resourcescompared to adults. For example, adults at my school haveresources like larger networks and access to decision makingpower. Since adults have these powers, I’d like to call on them tohelp me spread the word about the Happy Heritage Home.1.2.3.by Kaylee34

I attended an AAPI Women Lead virtual healing circle a couple ofweeks ago. The poet Terisa Siagatonu was one of the speakers. She read some ofher incredible poetry. She shared a writing prompt with us: "What isyour anger a safety valve for?". I wrote this poem about what it's like for me to be expected to tampdown my anger about the violence I have experienced. "Why are you so angry?""Don't be so angry" "Don't show that you're angry" We hear these words time and again. I wonder why people are upset at us for being angry, but are notnearly as upset about the violence we have experienced. Safety Valveby Alex RemsenI stepped on thunderIt was no mistake Could not let it roar I stepped on thunder Was it my mistake? Should have let it roar I stepped on thunder That was the mistake Time to let it roar35

The accompaniment to this poem is a collage I made 25 years ago in anart healing activity conducted by A Window Between Worlds. Theinstructions were to make a bookmark. My bookmark turned into astub. The stub depicts a sweet, docile cow who accessorizes herself with apretty sunflower. Dark sky, flashes of lightning, and crashing waves areswirling behind. I am that cow, who looks you in the eye, and dares you tounderestimate her power. Alex Remsen is a longtime friend of CPAF. This is her first timecontributing to a zine! Thanks, Sarah! 36

Community ResourcesHere are some resources that might be helpful. All of them are basedin LA County. Many organizations offer a large variety of services andprogramming, and can help you figure out what you're looking for ifyou contact them! Anyone is also welcome to call CPAF's hotline to getorganization referrals specific to their unique situation.www.apiequalityla.org | community spaces, events, and projects tosupport queer & trans-identifying Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in theLA area www.api-gbv.org | online facts, analysis, statistics, articles, and more ongender-based violence among specific Asian and Pacific Islander communities www.elizabethhouse.net | housing and other supportive programmingfor pregnant and parenting women and their families Asian Americans Advancing Justice LA www.advancingjustice-la.org | legal services, assistance, and education,with multilingual Asian language capacity Asian Pacific Counseling and Treatment Centerswww.apctc.org | mental health services for adults, children, and youth, withAsian American cultural sensitivity and bilingual capability API Equality-LAAsian Pacific Institute on Gender-Based ViolenceChinatown Service Centerwww.cscla.org | LA Chinatown-based nonprofit with a Community HealthCenter, Social Services, Youth Center, and Community Economic Developmentprograms, with multilingual language capacity in a variety of Chinese dialects,Vietnamese, Spanish, and moreElizabeth HouseFamilies in Good Health www.dignityhealth.org/socal/locations/stmarymedical/about-us/community-benefits/families-in-good-health | multilingual,multicultural health and social education programs for the Southeast Asian,Latino and other communities in Long Beach Karsh Centerwww.karshcenter.org | based in LA Koreatown, extensive social serviceprograms including a food pantry, mental and physical health networks,programs for children and parents, and legal services in partnership with otherorganizations 37

38www.kyccla.org | based in Koreatown, extensive social service programsincluding clinical services, housing, community education, and youth programs www.lalgbtcenter.org | extensive social service programs for LGBTpeople living near Los Angeles, including medical services, sexual health andprevention, addiction recovery services, housing and legal assistance, andmore www.ltsc.org | social welfare, youth programs, civic engagement,community development services, and more to serve individuals in need, aswell as build community in Little Tokyo and among Japanese/API Americans www.pacsla.com | Mental health services for children and adults in multiple APIlanguages and Spanish in Long Beach, West Los Angeles and Van Nuys. Has homevisitors program for at risk families with infants.www.psypherla.org | youth community space integrating workshops,wellness programs, and dance www.southasiannetwork.org | variety of programs supporting SouthAsian communities in southern California, including programs centeredaround community health, gender-based violence, civil engagement andcivil rights, and mental and emotional health www.saharacares.org | variety of programs for South Asian communities insouthern California, including programs centered around gender based violence,elder services, legal services, citizenship, mental health, and supporting youth www.thaicdc.org | broad range of bicultural and bilingual social/humanservices, education/advocacy, and community economic development programs inorder to support Thai immigrants, Thai Americans, and other LA area inhabitantswww.awbw.org | virtual trainings, resources, and worksheets using art andcreativity as tools for transformation and healing Koreatown Youth + Community CenterLA LGBT CenterLittle Tokyo Service CenterPacific Clinicswww.pacificclinics.org | network of mental and behavioral healthcarecentered on cultural sensitivity and multilingual services, with locationsthroughout Los Angeles, Orange, San Bernardino, and Ventura Counties Pacific Asian Counseling ServicesPsypher LASouth Asian NetworkSAHARAThai Community Development CenterA Window Between Worlds

Cover artwork by Megan Chao Zine planning, layout, and design by Sarah Tran All viewpoints, ideas, and thoughts expressed inthis zine belong to the credited authors and donot represent Center for the Pacific Asian Familyas an organization. Thank you to all the CPAF staff members whomade this zine possible! acknowledgements39

nurturingchange.org 1-800-339-3940 24/7 crisis hotline